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What do you call a Chinese man in an opium den?
Mellow Yellow
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There were two men in a homosexual relationship...
Unfortunately, one of them became ill and died. The funeral was held with the body being cremated. On passing over the ashes to the surviving partner, the undertaker politely asked him what he intended to do with them. "Will you be putting them on a shelf in the living room, or scattering them at your favorite place?"
The surviving partner answered, "Actually, I shall be sprinkling them into an extremely hot and spicy curry that I`ll cook up this evening."
"That`s quite unusual", replied the undertaker. "Why would you do such a thing?"
The surviving partner smiled and explained,"I just want to feel his juices ooze out of my bumhole one last time."
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What does a woman and a tornado have in common?
First they suck,Then they blow,
And then they take the fucking house.
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What do you call an incestual orgy?
Fun for the whole family!
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Why are all the sandy hook survivors gay?
All the survivors were in the closet.
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So I added Princess Diana on XBOX Live...
But she only stays on the dashboard.
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What is black, white and red all over?
Half a cat
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How do you punish Helen Keller?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
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How did Kurt Cobain collect his thoughts?
...With a sponge...
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Why do black people smell so bad
so blind people can hate them to
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A black man, a mexican, and a white guy are walking down...
A black man, a mexican, and a white guy are walking down a street in New York....
So, a black man, a mexican, and a white guy are walking down a street in New York City... Then a genie appears out of thin air. The genie says, "You each have one wish." He turns to the black man and says, "What do you wish for?" The black man says, "I wish that all my fellow Africans were back in Africa happy." "Ok" the genie says and snaps his fingers. Now all the Africans are back in Africa and happy. The genie turns to the Mexican, "Now what do you wish for?" The Mexican looks at the genie and says, "I wish that all my Mexicans were back in Mexico and happy." "Ok" says the genie and snaps his fingers. Now all the Mexicans are back in Mexico and happy. He turns to the white guy and says "Now what do you wish for?" The white man looks at the genie and asks, "So all the blacks and the mexicans are back in their own countries?" "Yes" replies the genie. The white guy nods and says, "I'll have a coke."
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Battered Wives' shelter
What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter?
The fucking dishes like I told her
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The first thing I do when I meet a girl is slap her.
That way she can never say I don't treat her like I used to.
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What makes raising a child more rewarding than raising...
What makes raising a child more rewarding than raising a dog?
You don't need peanut butter to trick a kid.
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What do you call an 80 year old black man?
Antique farm equipment.
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Why are black men so tall?
Because their knee grows
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What do you call a Jew in a blender?
Jewce.
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What does a mother's breast and a pedophile have in common?
Nobody likes it when babies suck on them in public.
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What's the best way to fight crime in Harlem?
Abortions.
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Why do they smear shit on the walls at polish weddings?
To keep the flies off the bride
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What's red, bubbly and claws at glass?
A baby in a microwave.
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What do a black guy and an apple have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
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A lesbian couple and a gay couple goes on a vacation to
A lesbian couple and a gay couple goes on a vacation to Hawaii. Who gets there first?
The lesbians will get there lickedy split, the gay guys will get there once their shit is packed.
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What do you call a fat Asian person?
A chunk.
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My friend doesn't understand holocaust jokes...
I think he just lacks some concentration.
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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with one hand?
So she could moan with the other
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Why did the necrophiliac have commitment issues?
He was afraid some rotten cunt would split on him
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What's the worst part of being a black Jew?
You have to sit at the back of the oven.
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Why do vegans and hippies go after people who wear fur and
Why do vegans and hippies go after people who wear fur and not leather?
Because it's much easier to beat up some old woman than the local chapter of the Hells Angels.
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What's the difference between a bar of soap and a Jew?
The bar of soap still exists after one shower