My "forbidden" fantasy
As I sexed with my boyfriend last night, I could not get a fantasy of Shells watching us out of my head. I had visions of her watching him fuck me. Of her playing with herself as she watches me ride his lovely cock. Of her licking her lips as I suck his cock and swallow it down greedily sucking my own juices from the glistening shaft. Of her watching his cock slide in and out of me as he drives me to ecstasy. Of her eyes gazing into mine as I ride him only to look at his cock disappear into my cunt. Of her looking at my swollen red fuckhole gaping open as he pulls his thick flesh sword from me and my cum dripping out of me and running down my legs. Of her watching as his cock glistens so wet with my juice as he pulls it from me before pushing it back until only his balls are left. As my hungry twat swallows his thick manhood with my frothy white cum on it. As I swallow his thick hard cock with my juices and my cum all over it.
I think of that and I feel the deep tingle start and it grows so quickly and spreads through me like the warm feeling alcohol gives. The tingle grows deeper and stronger but I can't tell where it starts. It is everywhere in my bod. I feel his cock push into me making me feel so lovely and full as well as feeling my pussy spread open and stretched to accept his thick shaft. Or even as he takes my clitty into his mouth and sucks and tongues it. The tingle from that I feel in my center. The other tingle merges with it then spins around it. The two building together in an intricate dance as I try to will them to join together to push me over the edge into the waiting depths of a delicious orgasm. My body pulsating and convulsing as I plummet into the depths and swim so langorously in that warm sensual ocean of joy.
I begin to laugh as joy overtakes me. My body feels so wonderful, so alive, every nerve sending messages of the pleasure I feel in every fiber. Of the sheer strength of the feeling of my clitty as it hurts even to touch it because it is so alive, so sensitive. I can feel it throbbing with delight and the warm feelings of pleasure radiating out into the rest of my body. I giggle. I almost shiver. And I giggle again. I cannot help myself. I feel so good. The feeling truly is indescribably good. We do not have words for it. They are so inadequate. I wish I could plug myself into Shells as she watches us as she watches my body convulse and arch in sheer ecstasy. I want her to feel this with me. I want to share it with her and with my man. He gave this feeling to me. He is still giving it to me. Still pushing me deeper. So deep I may never find my way back. But I don't care. I am free. I float my sea of joy and I revel in it. I want them to know how joyful I am. I want to touch them with my ecstasy. But I cannot. It is for me alone. But I smile and moan and groan out my joy. I laugh and giggle because I feel so giddy.
As the fog of my orgasm begins to fade, I feel sad that I could not share it with the love of my life as she watches me share my body with a man. My man. The only man I want to enter my body. The man who can drive me to ecstasy almost at will. And he does it over and over again. One right after the other. One washes over me just as the last is only starting to fade.
It is exhausting. My muscles all tense. My pussy contracts and constricts on his python. His thick cock struggles to move in my grip. Then it is free to glide into me again. And I grasp his cock with my pussy again, buried inside me, only his balls outside my body. His warm hard cock filling me, pushing against the end of my vag and stretching it out inside me. I can see the little bulge in my belly as his cock pushes my guts aside and up. Then I release him and grip him over and over as my pussy signals to him my orgasm. He feels his cum rise in his loins and his cock tingles as I continue to grip and release his thick shaft. The head of his glorious cock pulses as he feels his own orgasm build up inside him. And he pulls it from my hot, wet hole and squirts his hot white sticky cum all over my belly. It's so hot on my skin at first. I even feel some of it land on the bottom of my right tit. My abs are still flexed and a six pack shows through my skin. He knows I am still cumming. My body shakes violently as all my muscles pull at me, squeeze me, and push at me. All at once. And all I can do is shake as they struggle against each other. My toes are curled up so tight. My feet arched over, my legs pulling my feet up to my buttocks. The muscles in my thighs ripple as he watches, his hand nearly covering one thigh with his warm touch. I want to close my legs together. But his body is between them, huge and heavily muscled. On huge hand holds my side his fingers on my back, the power in his grip is so strong, yet he almost caresses me with his hand. His thumb on my belly strokes me softly, gently.
He eyes bore into mine. I cannot look away from him. I want to let my joy flow into him through our eyes. We are connected as we were connected with his cock buried within my body. And I think of Michelle watching as I share myself totally with him. Share my most intimate moment. I am completely vulnerable. My womanhood completely exposed and open to him. His man hood rests on top of my clit. I can feel the weight of it and the sensation is incredibly electric. I almost can't stand it because it is so strong, but it hurts so good I cannot and won't try to move him. I can feel his cock move up and down slightly as his orgasm that drove all that lovely slippery sticky cum over me still causes him to pulse to send waves of pleasure over his body as well. We share the feeling of orgasm. But separately. And I want him inside me again. My body aches in its emptiness for the feeling of that beautiful shaft invading my belly and filling me with it.
Yet I lie here, my muscles limp now. My feelings of euphoria fading as I grin from ear to ear. I still feel so good. I feel so happy. I feel the weight of his cock lying right on top of my clit. I can feel the warm softness of his skin on mine, there. I want him to move it so I can feel another wave of joy overtake me. But he is spent. His massive pecs hang from his deep chest. His shoulders glisten with sweat. I watch the vein in his neck pulse with his heart. It was going so fast. And it slowed down to a crawl again so quickly. His veins still stand out in his forearms as always. But I can see the muscles in his forearms flex as he I feel his fingers tighten and release me as he massages my side and my thigh.
His expression is one of caring and love. The lusty look of desire, of sheer a****l need for my body is gone. For now. But I know it will return soon. And my body will welcome his touch, his embrace, his loving caress, and his incredibly powerful grip on my waist as he lowers me once more onto that thick shaft of manhood and plumbs my depths with it, fills me, pushes open the little hole between my legs and stretches me inside and out. My fantasy of Michelle watching us remains. I want to know what she saw. What she felt. What she thought as she watched me devour his cock. As she watched me accept his hard cock into my body only to be pulled out and then pushed back in over and over and over. What did she feel as I was feeling my orgasms build within me? What did she think as I swallowed his cock and licked his balls with his cock filling my throat? What did she feel as I writhed on the bed in ecstasy as he pounded me with that wonderful thick fleshy rod? What did she want for me as she watched him pull his pipe hard shaft from my red swollen pussy then plunge it back in again and again all the way to his balls?
This fantasy is a new one for me. As Michelle and I have talked the possibility of a threesome with someone else. We have only talked about a woman. Men complicate the situation since we have both given ourselves to a man we each love. So, we talk about sharing our bed with another woman. But the thought of Michelle watching as I make love to my man just formed soon after we started talking about it and will not leave me. As I made love to my boyfriend (how inadequate a term) last night much of my conscious thought was of my desire to have her watch us. To have her watch as I share my body with him. And to watch him enjoy me. To watch him take me and have his way with me. I have this fantasy but it feels wrong that I want this. I know that it might hurt her to see me in the throes of passion and ecstasy with another. Even though it is a man, my man. I cannot dispel this desire for it. I want to tell her. I want her to talk me out of it. But I want her to tell me she wants to watch us, too. And I think that is what keeps the fantasy alive. The possibility that she might want to watch.
I do not think my boyfriend would agree to it. He has no desire for her. We are so different. She is tall and willowy. I am short and, well, short. I am well toned with good muscle definition just like Michelle. But one of my tits is bigger than both of hers together. I am a plain jane. She is a very beautiful woman. I have dark red with some brown (auburn) hair that has some lighter red highlights. Michelle says my hair is gorgeous that she covets it. But she has those long silky black tresses that just seem to wave and curl about her heat like a mane. Her hair frames her face and just accentuates how beautiful her delicate features are. She is the most beautiful woman in the world. To me, anyway. Her body is sheer perfection. I admire the folds and lips of her pussy as I shave it (just as she shaves me). It is perfect. Her long lips so beautiful as they change color from that lovely female pink to that gorgeous purple at the edges. I love how they curl together and merge over her cunt when she first opens her legs. Only the tiny hole at the end of her vulva is open. The rest is sealed between her lovely outer labia as they slope up from her body into the little mound of her pussy. Her beautiful pink pearl hides behind that soft pink fold, just waiting for her body to be stimulated and her erection to push it into the open where it can be licked and sucked and caressed. As I insert my thumb into her fuckhole as I shave her to hold my hand steady, I feel her grip me. The small smile on her face as the feels my thumb inside her tells me that this is one of the more enjoyable parts of me shaving her. But I enjoy touching her beautiful lips and have the chance to unfurl them in all their glory. I do not try to pleasure her while I shave her. That comes later. But I still admire just how beautiful her pussy is. Mine is plain and I don't have the lovely long lips she has. And my clit does not peek out when it is erect. It merely pushes the hood further out as it wants to be touched, greedily. My lips are just pink all over where hers have such beautiful coloration. Her outer lips turn such a beautiful red as they swell during sex. And her inner lips fill out with bl**d and become like little fins. The wiggle as I touch them. They lay flat when she is not excited like when I shave her. Even her anus is that beautiful shade of purple where mine is simply peach colored.
Her pubes are the same color as her hair. I trim her pubes every week. Today is the day. I will trim her pubes tonight. And she will completely shave me as always. She will urge me to let my bush grow. She wants to see me with an auburn thatch of hair. But it will be the same straight boring hair I have on my head. I let it grown once before, so I know. I like being slick and clean down there.
Michelle is prettier than I could ever hope to be. When she is dolled up, she is breathtakingly beautiful. I feel like a cactus next to a rose bush. But I love her with my very soul. She is mine. And I am hers. Always. I could not take the risk of hurting her by telling her my fantasy. She might not understand. I don't understand even myself why I want this. I know she desires me. She tells me every day and shows me regularly. Her loving kisses, touches, caresses and words tell me every day that I am the love of her life.
She broached the idea of having a threesome and telling me that she had worked out on her own that it should be with a woman because of the complications of bringing in another male. If we were both unattached women (we are already attached to each other) then it might work, provided neither of us developed an attachment to him. We both need and want a man in our lives. But to have to ourselves. Not to share between us. So, why do I want to share my sexing with my man with her this way? Why do I want her to watch when I fear that it could hurt her feelings to even tell her?
I have always been a morass of contradictions. I hate my b*****r Mark and love him unconditionally at the same time. And I would protect him with my very life. But he makes me so angry sometimes. And so happy that he is my b*****r at other times. So, I have this love-hate thing going with him. I feel similarly with Beth. But with her it is resentment that she is tall and willowy. Her breasts are going to be perfect for her body and very nearly are already. Her hair is that beautiful honey blonde color. Her face is so beautiful. She isn't the beauty Shells is. But she is everything I am not. And I resent that so strongly. I want so much to be taller even though my boyfriend says he would change even a single hair on my head. That he loves me EXACTLY as I am. He would not want me to change anything. Why can't I be happy with that and stop resenting Beth's beauty?
I don't have this dichotomy with Michelle. But I do envy her, sometimes. I fantasize what it must be like to be so gorgeous. Then I wonder just what she sees in short, plain me. And I love her for not caring that I am short and plain and that my tits are too big. She sometimes makes love to me by making love to my breasts. She licks, sucks, squeezes, caresses kisses and generally just makes love to them (and me). I orgasm when she does that. And she is one of the few who can make me cum that way. She does that when I am really down on myself about them. And she makes me joyful to have them. And her. I may have a love-hate thing going with Shells. But I think it's 99% love and maybe 1% envy.
I will keep my fantasy to myself. I have not told my boyfriend. Nor have I mentioned it or even hinted at it with Michelle. She did surprise me when she brought up the idea of the two of us sl**ping with another woman. I think she knew I would be in favor of doing it. We have agreed that we would both like to try it. But we are also worried of how it could affect our relationship. We both regularly have female lovers other than each other. How will our relationship hold up if we find ourselves competing for the affections or even just sex with another woman? How will that woman behave regarding us? I'm sure she will gravitate to Michelle since she is by far "the pretty one". I would.
I told Michelle that maybe we should each try it with a lesbian couple before bringing another woman to our bed. She said she thought that might be a good idea. We could both find out how we fit in an all female trio. And does sex work with three women? Three pussies. Six boobs. Three mouths. The combinations are exciting. But only two can kiss at once. And I adore kissing. Especially kissing Michelle. How will I feel to see Michelle kiss another woman? I've seen her kiss Beth, but that was just a little peck on the lips as hello or goodbye. How will I feel about seeing her open her mouth to another woman? I don't know. It scares me a little. I hope I won't feel jealousy. I hope I won't feel like this other woman will take her from me. And sexing with another couple may at least get comfortable with the dynamics.
I would love for a woman who is part of a lesbian couple to tell me how she deals with another woman in their bed. I like to think that Michelle would never leave me. That her love for me is far too strong for that. We have known each other for 12 years and we have been together for just over 2. I feel just as strongly for her today as I did 2 years ago. I love her such much that I ache to just be with her. I almost cannot bear being apart from her. She is part of me and it would kill me to lose her. Life would not be worth living without her. I try to make my boyfriend understand this. And he was surprised when I told him. And, I think he was surprised at just how much I love her. I might be able to love him that much one day. But I don't right now. I love Michelle more than him. And if it came down to him or her. I choose her. Without even thinking about it, I choose her.
My love seems to be in flux again. I guess they are growing pains. I had had thoughts of bringing another woman to our bed. Of enjoying another woman together with Shells. Not to switch between them. But to share her with Michelle. To share the fun of the experience with Michelle.
To say I was surprised when she brought it up is an understatement. I couldn't believe my ears. She had never hinted that she might think that. When I remember that moment, I wonder if maybe she wants me to watch her fuck her boyfriend. I've seen her suck his cock. And I stood that just fine. I don't fancy him. I have watched Michelle suck a cock before. Several times, actually, when we were skinny dipping. I joined in, then, though. She and I sucked one guy's cock together. She would suck him until her jaw felt tired then I would suck him until mine felt tired. And we kept switching. The other licked his dick and his hairy balls (ugh). I felt no twinges of jealousy, then. But then we weren't a couple then.
I am confused, to say the least. And I am trying to understand my own feelings as well as how Michelle and I would or could fit into each others' extracurricular sex life. We both casually sex with other females. We have somewhat different taste in partners. But not terribly different.
I am somewhat concerned that I might fancy one partner of a lesbian couple but not the other. What if I realize that after the sex starts? How do I deal with that?
No one apart from my uncle Jack (he saw me kiss Michelle in a deep kiss with my han on her breast) and my b*****r Matt (he figured it out quickly) know about my relationship with Michelle. I do not know how my parents would feel about that. I don't know how any of them would feel about it. Matt approves and is happy for me. He says being with Emily has made him the happiest man on Earth. And he is so happy I found someone to love so much. And who loves me. He has seen us together uninhibited by fear of being "outed". And he says it obvious that we love each other at least at much as he loves his wife.
My uncle Jack approves as well. He says that no one should try to judge us just because of who we fell in love with. Did I mention I LOVE my uncle Jack? And not because he helps me financially sometimes (he's well off financially with a solid income from his technical writing as well as a pension from the fortune 100 company he worked for so long). He says he hopes that Michelle and I never fall out of love like he did with his wife. He said it was an awful thing to sit next to someone whom he did not even like and remember just how much he had loved her before. And how she had little by little killed his feelings for her. I can easily believe that's how it went. I knew her and I did not like her at all. She seemed to hate everyone. And negativity just seemed to ooze out from her.
So, given that Michelle hid her fantasy of a threesome with another woman from me, is it possible that she also would want me to watch her with her boyfriend? Or, God forbid, want me to join in with them? I mean, he's okay. But I don't want to fuck him. He doesn't turn me on. I might suck his dick to be nice to him. But even if Michelle wanted me to, I don't know if I could fuck him. My pussy might just not unclench enough to let him in.
So, in my head I go in these circles of thought. They wind their way through my mind then end up right where I started. And I haven't figured anything out. I know the only way to know if she would be offended or happy about it is to tell her. But even a slim risk of hurting or offending her is too much. But I WANT to tell her. I can't get it out of my head when my man is fucking me. He even noticed I was distracted last night. I had to tell him "nothing" when he asked what was on my mind (see, guys aren't all oblivious to our moods). He looked concerned when he asked me as we enjoyed a breather last night. I don't think he was satisfied with what I told him. But we're supposed to be mysterious, right, guys?
All I know is I would love to tell Michelle. And it would kill me to know I had hurt or offended her. It's a VERY strong fantasy. The strongest I've ever had. And I think it might not go away on its own. Telling Michelle is out of the question. And telling my man isn't going to happen, either. So, I guess I'm just stuck with it. No matter how deliciously "bad" it makes me feel.
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